{"product_id":"the-dildo-of-consequences-rarely-arrives-lubed-graphic","title":"“The Dildo of Consequences Rarely Arrives Lubed” Graphic","description":"\u003ctable id=\"size-guide\" style=\"min-width:360px;\"\u003e\n            \u003cthead\u003e\n                \u003ctr\u003e\n                    \u003cth style=\"padding:10px;\"\u003e\u003c\/th\u003e\n                    \u003cth style=\"color:#000000;font-weight:500;text-align:left;font-size:15px;padding:10px;\"\u003eXS\u003c\/th\u003e\n\u003cth style=\"color:#000000;font-weight:500;text-align:left;font-size:15px;padding:10px;\"\u003eS\u003c\/th\u003e\n\u003cth style=\"color:#000000;font-weight:500;text-align:left;font-size:15px;padding:10px;\"\u003eM\u003c\/th\u003e\n\u003cth style=\"color:#000000;font-weight:500;text-align:left;font-size:15px;padding:10px;\"\u003eL\u003c\/th\u003e\n\u003cth style=\"color:#000000;font-weight:500;text-align:left;font-size:15px;padding:10px;\"\u003eXL\u003c\/th\u003e\n\u003cth style=\"color:#000000;font-weight:500;text-align:left;font-size:15px;padding:10px;\"\u003e2XL\u003c\/th\u003e\n                \u003c\/tr\u003e\n            \u003c\/thead\u003e\n            \u003ctbody\u003e\n                \n                    \u003ctr\u003e\n                        \u003ctd style=\"padding:10px;color:#525252;font-size:15px;border-top:1px solid #ededed;word-break: break-word;\"\u003e\n                            Width, in\n                        \u003c\/td\u003e\n                        \n                        \u003ctd style=\"padding:10px;color:#525252;font-size:15px;border-top:1px solid #ededed;word-break: break-word;\"\u003e\n                            16.50 \n                        \u003c\/td\u003e\n                                        \n                        \u003ctd style=\"padding:10px;color:#525252;font-size:15px;border-top:1px solid #ededed;word-break: break-word;\"\u003e\n                            17.99 \n                        \u003c\/td\u003e\n                                        \n                        \u003ctd style=\"padding:10px;color:#525252;font-size:15px;border-top:1px solid #ededed;word-break: break-word;\"\u003e\n                            20.00 \n                        \u003c\/td\u003e\n                                        \n                        \u003ctd style=\"padding:10px;color:#525252;font-size:15px;border-top:1px solid #ededed;word-break: break-word;\"\u003e\n                            21.97 \n                        \u003c\/td\u003e\n                                        \n                        \u003ctd style=\"padding:10px;color:#525252;font-size:15px;border-top:1px solid #ededed;word-break: break-word;\"\u003e\n                            23.98 \n                        \u003c\/td\u003e\n                                        \n                        \u003ctd style=\"padding:10px;color:#525252;font-size:15px;border-top:1px solid #ededed;word-break: break-word;\"\u003e\n                            25.98 \n                        \u003c\/td\u003e\n                                        \n                    \u003c\/tr\u003e\n               \n                    \u003ctr\u003e\n                        \u003ctd style=\"padding:10px;color:#525252;font-size:15px;border-top:1px solid #ededed;word-break: break-word;\"\u003e\n                            Length, in\n                        \u003c\/td\u003e\n                        \n                        \u003ctd style=\"padding:10px;color:#525252;font-size:15px;border-top:1px solid #ededed;word-break: break-word;\"\u003e\n                            26.97 \n                        \u003c\/td\u003e\n                                        \n                        \u003ctd style=\"padding:10px;color:#525252;font-size:15px;border-top:1px solid #ededed;word-break: break-word;\"\u003e\n                            27.99 \n                        \u003c\/td\u003e\n                                        \n                        \u003ctd style=\"padding:10px;color:#525252;font-size:15px;border-top:1px solid #ededed;word-break: break-word;\"\u003e\n                            28.98 \n                        \u003c\/td\u003e\n                                        \n                        \u003ctd style=\"padding:10px;color:#525252;font-size:15px;border-top:1px solid #ededed;word-break: break-word;\"\u003e\n                            30.00 \n                        \u003c\/td\u003e\n                                        \n                        \u003ctd style=\"padding:10px;color:#525252;font-size:15px;border-top:1px solid #ededed;word-break: break-word;\"\u003e\n                            30.98 \n                        \u003c\/td\u003e\n                                        \n                        \u003ctd style=\"padding:10px;color:#525252;font-size:15px;border-top:1px solid #ededed;word-break: break-word;\"\u003e\n                            32.01 \n                        \u003c\/td\u003e\n                                        \n                    \u003c\/tr\u003e\n               \n                    \u003ctr\u003e\n                        \u003ctd style=\"padding:10px;color:#525252;font-size:15px;border-top:1px solid #ededed;word-break: break-word;\"\u003e\n                            Sleeve length, in\n                        \u003c\/td\u003e\n                        \n                        \u003ctd style=\"padding:10px;color:#525252;font-size:15px;border-top:1px solid #ededed;word-break: break-word;\"\u003e\n                            25.00 \n                        \u003c\/td\u003e\n                                        \n                        \u003ctd style=\"padding:10px;color:#525252;font-size:15px;border-top:1px solid #ededed;word-break: break-word;\"\u003e\n                            26.93 \n                        \u003c\/td\u003e\n                                        \n                        \u003ctd style=\"padding:10px;color:#525252;font-size:15px;border-top:1px solid #ededed;word-break: break-word;\"\u003e\n                            27.17 \n                        \u003c\/td\u003e\n                                        \n                        \u003ctd style=\"padding:10px;color:#525252;font-size:15px;border-top:1px solid #ededed;word-break: break-word;\"\u003e\n                            27.56 \n                        \u003c\/td\u003e\n                                        \n                        \u003ctd style=\"padding:10px;color:#525252;font-size:15px;border-top:1px solid #ededed;word-break: break-word;\"\u003e\n                            27.95 \n                        \u003c\/td\u003e\n                                        \n                        \u003ctd style=\"padding:10px;color:#525252;font-size:15px;border-top:1px solid #ededed;word-break: break-word;\"\u003e\n                            28.35 \n                        \u003c\/td\u003e\n                                        \n                    \u003c\/tr\u003e\n               \n                    \u003ctr\u003e\n                        \u003ctd style=\"padding:10px;color:#525252;font-size:15px;border-top:1px solid #ededed;word-break: break-word;\"\u003e\n                            Size tolerance, in\n                        \u003c\/td\u003e\n                        \n                        \u003ctd style=\"padding:10px;color:#525252;font-size:15px;border-top:1px solid #ededed;word-break: break-word;\"\u003e\n                            1.00 \n                        \u003c\/td\u003e\n                                        \n                        \u003ctd style=\"padding:10px;color:#525252;font-size:15px;border-top:1px solid #ededed;word-break: break-word;\"\u003e\n                            1.00 \n                        \u003c\/td\u003e\n                                        \n                        \u003ctd style=\"padding:10px;color:#525252;font-size:15px;border-top:1px solid #ededed;word-break: break-word;\"\u003e\n                            1.00 \n                        \u003c\/td\u003e\n                                        \n                        \u003ctd style=\"padding:10px;color:#525252;font-size:15px;border-top:1px solid #ededed;word-break: break-word;\"\u003e\n                            1.00 \n                        \u003c\/td\u003e\n                                        \n                        \u003ctd style=\"padding:10px;color:#525252;font-size:15px;border-top:1px solid #ededed;word-break: break-word;\"\u003e\n                            1.00 \n                        \u003c\/td\u003e\n                                        \n                        \u003ctd style=\"padding:10px;color:#525252;font-size:15px;border-top:1px solid #ededed;word-break: break-word;\"\u003e\n                            1.00 \n                        \u003c\/td\u003e\n                                        \n                    \u003c\/tr\u003e\n               \n            \u003c\/tbody\u003e\n        \u003c\/table\u003e\n        A soft, lightweight long sleeve tee that speaks with sharp humor. The breathable Airlume cotton blend drapes easily for a relaxed retail fit, with side seams and shoulder tape to keep the shape wash after wash. The ribbed knit collar and tear-away label add everyday comfort, while the bold, cheeky chest print gives this shirt its personality — clever, irreverent, and built for people who wear their sarcasm loud. Throw it on for late-night hangouts, irreverent gift swaps, or a casual day when you want your outfit to do the talking.\u003cbr\u003e\u003cbr\u003eShort, tactile sentences. Subtle structure. A tee that lands jokes without trying too hard.\u003cbr\u003e\u003cbr\u003eProduct features\u003cbr\u003e- Lightweight 4.2 oz Airlume combed cotton (blend varies by color) for breathable comfort\u003cbr\u003e- Retail fit with side seams and shoulder tape to maintain shape\u003cbr\u003e- Ribbed knit collar with seam and tear-away label for comfort and durability\u003cbr\u003e- DTF inner neck labels; prints applied with DTG for crisp graphics\u003cbr\u003e- Runs true to size; made in Nicaragua and meets flammability requirements\u003cbr\u003e\u003cbr\u003eCare instructions\u003cbr\u003e- Machine wash: warm (max 40C or 105F)\u003cbr\u003e- Tumble dry: low heat\u003cbr\u003e- Iron, team or dry: medium heat\u003cbr\u003e- Non-chlorine: bleach as needed\u003cbr\u003e- Do not dryclean\u003cbr\u003e","brand":"Printify","offers":[{"title":"XS \/ Black","offer_id":48232266170468,"sku":"67120755089397113829","price":21.95,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"XS \/ Military Green","offer_id":48232266203236,"sku":"11252333375667870320","price":21.95,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"XS \/ Navy","offer_id":48232266236004,"sku":"40771206676535585914","price":21.95,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"S \/ Asphalt","offer_id":48232266268772,"sku":"16333588248136672512","price":21.95,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"S \/ Black","offer_id":48232266301540,"sku":"29825609337404587869","price":21.95,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"S \/ Cardinal","offer_id":48232266334308,"sku":"33575238062440092936","price":21.95,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"S \/ Navy","offer_id":48232266367076,"sku":"31529297077616411745","price":21.95,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"S \/ Red","offer_id":48232266399844,"sku":"17354156508551483519","price":21.95,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"S \/ True Royal","offer_id":48232266432612,"sku":"12823828492301990281","price":21.95,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"M \/ Asphalt","offer_id":48232266465380,"sku":"32109095505788893993","price":21.95,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"M \/ Black","offer_id":48232266498148,"sku":"18954891243936397159","price":21.95,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"M \/ Cardinal","offer_id":48232266530916,"sku":"21790054060210520325","price":21.95,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"M \/ Navy","offer_id":48232266563684,"sku":"22745597104745829089","price":21.95,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"M \/ Red","offer_id":48232266596452,"sku":"48665505550671575583","price":21.95,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"M \/ True Royal","offer_id":48232266629220,"sku":"96727131934399742422","price":21.95,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"M \/ Military Green","offer_id":48232266661988,"sku":"32200445810835247204","price":21.95,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"L \/ Asphalt","offer_id":48232266694756,"sku":"16395432110694990386","price":21.95,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"L \/ Black","offer_id":48232266727524,"sku":"29237962382239350908","price":21.95,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"L \/ Cardinal","offer_id":48232266760292,"sku":"94331946637738740362","price":21.95,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"L \/ Navy","offer_id":48232266793060,"sku":"29212473413431047724","price":21.95,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"L \/ Red","offer_id":48232266825828,"sku":"30945279046935678074","price":21.95,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"L \/ True Royal","offer_id":48232266858596,"sku":"86058883499036913206","price":21.95,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"L \/ Military Green","offer_id":48232266891364,"sku":"21991280706336892786","price":21.95,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"XL \/ Asphalt","offer_id":48232266924132,"sku":"33145472453087502464","price":21.95,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"XL \/ Black","offer_id":48232266956900,"sku":"27716863112775706495","price":21.95,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"XL \/ Cardinal","offer_id":48232266989668,"sku":"12908287244244779655","price":21.95,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"XL \/ Navy","offer_id":48232267022436,"sku":"21552162333672400585","price":21.95,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"XL \/ Red","offer_id":48232267055204,"sku":"98723652237701855656","price":21.95,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"XL \/ True Royal","offer_id":48232267087972,"sku":"63758769442676315246","price":21.95,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"XL \/ Military Green","offer_id":48232267120740,"sku":"54453791878426914670","price":21.95,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"2XL \/ Asphalt","offer_id":48232267153508,"sku":"10688107475011286218","price":23.95,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"2XL \/ Black","offer_id":48232267186276,"sku":"15444950928856657358","price":23.95,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"2XL \/ Cardinal","offer_id":48232267219044,"sku":"18890292906572712696","price":23.95,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"2XL \/ Navy","offer_id":48232267251812,"sku":"32359965117959599704","price":23.95,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"2XL \/ Red","offer_id":48232267284580,"sku":"13965913436826046340","price":23.95,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"2XL \/ True Royal","offer_id":48232267317348,"sku":"33416247716632190020","price":23.95,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"2XL \/ Military Green","offer_id":48232267350116,"sku":"14205553048062933610","price":23.95,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true}],"thumbnail_url":"\/\/cdn.shopify.com\/s\/files\/1\/0770\/5028\/2084\/files\/4638616182104177443_2048.jpg?v=1777995462","url":"https:\/\/the-digital-spindle.myshopify.com\/products\/the-dildo-of-consequences-rarely-arrives-lubed-graphic","provider":"The Digital Spindle","version":"1.0","type":"link"}