{"product_id":"muscle-tank-the-dildo-of-consequences-rarely-arrives-lubed-funny-provocative-graphic-tank-top","title":"Muscle Tank \"The Dildo of Consequences Rarely Arrives Lubed\" — Funny Provocative Graphic Tank Top","description":"\u003ctable id=\"size-guide\" style=\"min-width:360px;\"\u003e\n            \u003cthead\u003e\n                \u003ctr\u003e\n                    \u003cth style=\"padding:10px;\"\u003e\u003c\/th\u003e\n                    \u003cth style=\"color:#000000;font-weight:500;text-align:left;font-size:15px;padding:10px;\"\u003eS\u003c\/th\u003e\n\u003cth style=\"color:#000000;font-weight:500;text-align:left;font-size:15px;padding:10px;\"\u003eM\u003c\/th\u003e\n\u003cth style=\"color:#000000;font-weight:500;text-align:left;font-size:15px;padding:10px;\"\u003eL\u003c\/th\u003e\n\u003cth style=\"color:#000000;font-weight:500;text-align:left;font-size:15px;padding:10px;\"\u003eXL\u003c\/th\u003e\n\u003cth style=\"color:#000000;font-weight:500;text-align:left;font-size:15px;padding:10px;\"\u003e2XL\u003c\/th\u003e\n                \u003c\/tr\u003e\n            \u003c\/thead\u003e\n            \u003ctbody\u003e\n                \n                    \u003ctr\u003e\n                        \u003ctd style=\"padding:10px;color:#525252;font-size:15px;border-top:1px solid #ededed;word-break: break-word;\"\u003e\n                            Body Length, in\n                        \u003c\/td\u003e\n                        \n                        \u003ctd style=\"padding:10px;color:#525252;font-size:15px;border-top:1px solid #ededed;word-break: break-word;\"\u003e\n                            26.00 \n                        \u003c\/td\u003e\n                                        \n                        \u003ctd style=\"padding:10px;color:#525252;font-size:15px;border-top:1px solid #ededed;word-break: break-word;\"\u003e\n                            27.00 \n                        \u003c\/td\u003e\n                                        \n                        \u003ctd style=\"padding:10px;color:#525252;font-size:15px;border-top:1px solid #ededed;word-break: break-word;\"\u003e\n                            28.00 \n                        \u003c\/td\u003e\n                                        \n                        \u003ctd style=\"padding:10px;color:#525252;font-size:15px;border-top:1px solid #ededed;word-break: break-word;\"\u003e\n                            29.00 \n                        \u003c\/td\u003e\n                                        \n                        \u003ctd style=\"padding:10px;color:#525252;font-size:15px;border-top:1px solid #ededed;word-break: break-word;\"\u003e\n                            30.00 \n                        \u003c\/td\u003e\n                                        \n                    \u003c\/tr\u003e\n               \n                    \u003ctr\u003e\n                        \u003ctd style=\"padding:10px;color:#525252;font-size:15px;border-top:1px solid #ededed;word-break: break-word;\"\u003e\n                            Chest Width , in\n                        \u003c\/td\u003e\n                        \n                        \u003ctd style=\"padding:10px;color:#525252;font-size:15px;border-top:1px solid #ededed;word-break: break-word;\"\u003e\n                            18.00 \n                        \u003c\/td\u003e\n                                        \n                        \u003ctd style=\"padding:10px;color:#525252;font-size:15px;border-top:1px solid #ededed;word-break: break-word;\"\u003e\n                            20.00 \n                        \u003c\/td\u003e\n                                        \n                        \u003ctd style=\"padding:10px;color:#525252;font-size:15px;border-top:1px solid #ededed;word-break: break-word;\"\u003e\n                            21.62 \n                        \u003c\/td\u003e\n                                        \n                        \u003ctd style=\"padding:10px;color:#525252;font-size:15px;border-top:1px solid #ededed;word-break: break-word;\"\u003e\n                            23.62 \n                        \u003c\/td\u003e\n                                        \n                        \u003ctd style=\"padding:10px;color:#525252;font-size:15px;border-top:1px solid #ededed;word-break: break-word;\"\u003e\n                            25.62 \n                        \u003c\/td\u003e\n                                        \n                    \u003c\/tr\u003e\n               \n            \u003c\/tbody\u003e\n        \u003c\/table\u003e\n        Muscle tanks that speak with a sharp, irreverent voice. Lightweight and structured, this sleeveless top carries a handwritten, tongue-in-cheek slogan across the chest that reads like a private joke between friends. It sits with a clean retail fit and straight hem, so it layers easily under an open flannel or stands alone at a backyard gathering. Wear it when you want to spark a laugh, break the ice, or lean into a rowdy, casual night out. The feel is familiar — breathable cotton that keeps its shape through repeats and washes, while the tear-away label keeps the neckline scratch-free. This is for people who prefer humor over small talk and want clothing that matches a bold, laid-back mood.\u003cbr\u003e\u003cbr\u003eProduct features\u003cbr\u003e- Durable side seams for long-lasting shape\u003cbr\u003e- Tear-away label for zero-scratch comfort\u003cbr\u003e- Pre-shrunk fabric to maintain fit after washing\u003cbr\u003e- Retail fit for a clean, contemporary silhouette\u003cbr\u003e- Unisex sizing that works for varied body types\u003cbr\u003e\u003cbr\u003eCare instructions\u003cbr\u003e- Machine wash: cold (max 30C or 90F), gentle cycle\u003cbr\u003e- Non-chlorine: bleach as needed\u003cbr\u003e- Tumble dry: low heat\u003cbr\u003e- Iron, steam or dry: low heat\u003cbr\u003e- Do not dryclean\u003cbr\u003e","brand":"Printify","offers":[{"title":"S \/ White","offer_id":48258142142564,"sku":"21032015208998567100","price":19.95,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"S \/ Natural","offer_id":48258142175332,"sku":"22464929550668311919","price":19.95,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"S \/ Pink","offer_id":48258142208100,"sku":"29227223403193433705","price":19.95,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"M \/ White","offer_id":48258142240868,"sku":"37745933067545977485","price":19.95,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"M \/ Natural","offer_id":48258142273636,"sku":"28791455368512016524","price":19.95,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"M \/ Pink","offer_id":48258142306404,"sku":"18117192043699544275","price":19.95,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"L \/ White","offer_id":48258142339172,"sku":"31976772546343227239","price":19.95,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"L \/ Natural","offer_id":48258142371940,"sku":"24817132862721842111","price":19.95,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"L \/ Pink","offer_id":48258142404708,"sku":"16124805131229872994","price":19.95,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"XL \/ White","offer_id":48258142437476,"sku":"13097262295358393913","price":19.95,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"XL \/ Natural","offer_id":48258142470244,"sku":"10505646262561112289","price":19.95,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"XL \/ Pink","offer_id":48258142503012,"sku":"11342349202436571224","price":19.95,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"2XL \/ White","offer_id":48258142535780,"sku":"19447993872238932111","price":21.95,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"2XL \/ Natural","offer_id":48258142568548,"sku":"70549057712233609874","price":21.95,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"2XL \/ Pink","offer_id":48258142601316,"sku":"28911848042835383691","price":21.95,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true}],"thumbnail_url":"\/\/cdn.shopify.com\/s\/files\/1\/0770\/5028\/2084\/files\/9656002435764513613_2048.jpg?v=1776232797","url":"https:\/\/the-digital-spindle.myshopify.com\/products\/muscle-tank-the-dildo-of-consequences-rarely-arrives-lubed-funny-provocative-graphic-tank-top","provider":"The Digital Spindle","version":"1.0","type":"link"}