{"product_id":"funny-graphic-tank-the-dildo-of-consequences-rarely-arrives-lubed-statement-tank-top","title":"Funny Graphic Tank – \"The Dildo of Consequences Rarely Arrives Lubed\" Statement Tank Top","description":"\u003ctable id=\"size-guide\" style=\"min-width:360px;\"\u003e\n \u003cthead\u003e\n \u003ctr\u003e\n \u003cth style=\"padding:10px;\"\u003e\u003c\/th\u003e\n \u003cth style=\"color:#000000;font-weight:500;text-align:left;font-size:15px;padding:10px;\"\u003eXS\u003c\/th\u003e\n\u003cth style=\"color:#000000;font-weight:500;text-align:left;font-size:15px;padding:10px;\"\u003eS\u003c\/th\u003e\n\u003cth style=\"color:#000000;font-weight:500;text-align:left;font-size:15px;padding:10px;\"\u003eM\u003c\/th\u003e\n\u003cth style=\"color:#000000;font-weight:500;text-align:left;font-size:15px;padding:10px;\"\u003eL\u003c\/th\u003e\n\u003cth style=\"color:#000000;font-weight:500;text-align:left;font-size:15px;padding:10px;\"\u003eXL\u003c\/th\u003e\n\u003cth style=\"color:#000000;font-weight:500;text-align:left;font-size:15px;padding:10px;\"\u003e2XL\u003c\/th\u003e\n \u003c\/tr\u003e\n \u003c\/thead\u003e\n \u003ctbody\u003e\n \n \u003ctr\u003e\n \u003ctd style=\"padding:10px;color:#525252;font-size:15px;border-top:1px solid #ededed;word-break: break-word;\"\u003e\n Width, in\n \u003c\/td\u003e\n \n \u003ctd style=\"padding:10px;color:#525252;font-size:15px;border-top:1px solid #ededed;word-break: break-word;\"\u003e\n 16.26 \n \u003c\/td\u003e\n \n \u003ctd style=\"padding:10px;color:#525252;font-size:15px;border-top:1px solid #ededed;word-break: break-word;\"\u003e\n 18.23 \n \u003c\/td\u003e\n \n \u003ctd style=\"padding:10px;color:#525252;font-size:15px;border-top:1px solid #ededed;word-break: break-word;\"\u003e\n 20.24 \n \u003c\/td\u003e\n \n \u003ctd style=\"padding:10px;color:#525252;font-size:15px;border-top:1px solid #ededed;word-break: break-word;\"\u003e\n 22.24 \n \u003c\/td\u003e\n \n \u003ctd style=\"padding:10px;color:#525252;font-size:15px;border-top:1px solid #ededed;word-break: break-word;\"\u003e\n 24.25 \n \u003c\/td\u003e\n \n \u003ctd style=\"padding:10px;color:#525252;font-size:15px;border-top:1px solid #ededed;word-break: break-word;\"\u003e\n 26.22 \n \u003c\/td\u003e\n \n \u003c\/tr\u003e\n \n \u003ctr\u003e\n \u003ctd style=\"padding:10px;color:#525252;font-size:15px;border-top:1px solid #ededed;word-break: break-word;\"\u003e\n Length, in\n \u003c\/td\u003e\n \n \u003ctd style=\"padding:10px;color:#525252;font-size:15px;border-top:1px solid #ededed;word-break: break-word;\"\u003e\n 25.98 \n \u003c\/td\u003e\n \n \u003ctd style=\"padding:10px;color:#525252;font-size:15px;border-top:1px solid #ededed;word-break: break-word;\"\u003e\n 26.97 \n \u003c\/td\u003e\n \n \u003ctd style=\"padding:10px;color:#525252;font-size:15px;border-top:1px solid #ededed;word-break: break-word;\"\u003e\n 27.99 \n \u003c\/td\u003e\n \n \u003ctd style=\"padding:10px;color:#525252;font-size:15px;border-top:1px solid #ededed;word-break: break-word;\"\u003e\n 28.98 \n \u003c\/td\u003e\n \n \u003ctd style=\"padding:10px;color:#525252;font-size:15px;border-top:1px solid #ededed;word-break: break-word;\"\u003e\n 30.00 \n \u003c\/td\u003e\n \n \u003ctd style=\"padding:10px;color:#525252;font-size:15px;border-top:1px solid #ededed;word-break: break-word;\"\u003e\n 30.98 \n \u003c\/td\u003e\n \n \u003c\/tr\u003e\n \n \u003ctr\u003e\n \u003ctd style=\"padding:10px;color:#525252;font-size:15px;border-top:1px solid #ededed;word-break: break-word;\"\u003e\n Arm opening, in\n \u003c\/td\u003e\n \n \u003ctd style=\"padding:10px;color:#525252;font-size:15px;border-top:1px solid #ededed;word-break: break-word;\"\u003e\n 9.50 \n \u003c\/td\u003e\n \n \u003ctd style=\"padding:10px;color:#525252;font-size:15px;border-top:1px solid #ededed;word-break: break-word;\"\u003e\n 10.12 \n \u003c\/td\u003e\n \n \u003ctd style=\"padding:10px;color:#525252;font-size:15px;border-top:1px solid #ededed;word-break: break-word;\"\u003e\n 10.75 \n \u003c\/td\u003e\n \n \u003ctd style=\"padding:10px;color:#525252;font-size:15px;border-top:1px solid #ededed;word-break: break-word;\"\u003e\n 11.63 \n \u003c\/td\u003e\n \n \u003ctd style=\"padding:10px;color:#525252;font-size:15px;border-top:1px solid #ededed;word-break: break-word;\"\u003e\n 12.50 \n \u003c\/td\u003e\n \n \u003ctd style=\"padding:10px;color:#525252;font-size:15px;border-top:1px solid #ededed;word-break: break-word;\"\u003e\n 13.37 \n \u003c\/td\u003e\n \n \u003c\/tr\u003e\n \n \u003ctr\u003e\n \u003ctd style=\"padding:10px;color:#525252;font-size:15px;border-top:1px solid #ededed;word-break: break-word;\"\u003e\n Size tolerance, in\n \u003c\/td\u003e\n \n \u003ctd style=\"padding:10px;color:#525252;font-size:15px;border-top:1px solid #ededed;word-break: break-word;\"\u003e\n 1.00 \n \u003c\/td\u003e\n \n \u003ctd style=\"padding:10px;color:#525252;font-size:15px;border-top:1px solid #ededed;word-break: break-word;\"\u003e\n 1.00 \n \u003c\/td\u003e\n \n \u003ctd style=\"padding:10px;color:#525252;font-size:15px;border-top:1px solid #ededed;word-break: break-word;\"\u003e\n 1.00 \n \u003c\/td\u003e\n \n \u003ctd style=\"padding:10px;color:#525252;font-size:15px;border-top:1px solid #ededed;word-break: break-word;\"\u003e\n 1.00 \n \u003c\/td\u003e\n \n \u003ctd style=\"padding:10px;color:#525252;font-size:15px;border-top:1px solid #ededed;word-break: break-word;\"\u003e\n 1.00 \n \u003c\/td\u003e\n \n \u003ctd style=\"padding:10px;color:#525252;font-size:15px;border-top:1px solid #ededed;word-break: break-word;\"\u003e\n 1.00 \n \u003c\/td\u003e\n \n \u003c\/tr\u003e\n \n \u003c\/tbody\u003e\n \u003c\/table\u003e\n Light, lived-in, and a little bit wicked — this tank brings dry humor to warm days and late-night laughs. The soft, airy fabric drapes easily over shorts or jeans and wears like a favorite tee that’s been invited to every backyard hangout, road trip, and dive bar open mic. The hand-lettered message sits front and center, delivering a cheeky punchline without shouting. It’s for people who trade small talk for sharp wit, who collect ridiculous souvenirs from bad decisions and tell the story with a grin. Throw it on when the sun’s out, the music is loud, and you’re ready to trade polite conversation for honest, messy fun during summer nights, bachelorette shenanigans, or spontaneous beach bonfires.\u003cbr\u003e\u003cbr\u003eProduct features\u003cbr\u003e- 100% Airlume combed and ring-spun cotton (varies by color) — ultra-soft, lightweight fabric\u003cbr\u003e- Lightweight 4.2 oz\/yd² for breathable, warm-weather comfort\u003cbr\u003e- Retail fit with side seams for lasting shape and a flattering drape\u003cbr\u003e- Self-fabric binding and tear-away label for clean finish and itch-free wear\u003cbr\u003e- Runs true to size; made in Nicaragua and meets flammability requirements\u003cbr\u003e\u003cbr\u003eCare instructions\u003cbr\u003e- Machine wash: warm (max 40C or 105F)\u003cbr\u003e- Non-chlorine: bleach as needed\u003cbr\u003e- Tumble dry: medium\u003cbr\u003e- Iron, steam or dry: medium heat\u003cbr\u003e- Do not dryclean\u003cbr\u003e","brand":"Printify","offers":[{"title":"XS 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